Dear FroBunni: I don't want to relax my hair, but it's difficult being natural

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Dear FroBunni, I've been natural for over a year now. I like it but it's getting thicker and more difficult to manage. I really don't want to, but I've been thinking about relaxing my hair. How do I make my hair more manageable so that I don't have to relax it? 

First thing is first, if you want to relax your hair, then do it. If your mind is made up, nothing I say can deter you from relaxing. Now that that's out of the way, I would stop looking at your hair as unmanageable. Your hair is very manageable. You will just need to change some of your techniques and products to better manage your natural hair. I've got a few tips and tricks that can help.
  1. Section hair: Out of all the tips I will give you, this is the biggest one. Start sectioning your hair. I don't do anything to my hair unless it is sectioned first. You may find that you need to make more or less sections depending on the thickness of your hair, but trust me, your hair becomes much more manageable when you start sectioning.
  2. Moisturize more often: Up your moisturizing game. Dry hair can get really frustrating to deal with and it isn't cooperative. If you haven't already done so, start moisturizing once or every other day. You're hair will become more manageable almost immediately.
  3. Take a break: Sometimes you just get so overwhelmed that you need to take a break from your hair, so consider a protective hairstyle. Protective hairstyles can include weaves, buns, two strand twists, etc., so your options are limitless and you don't have to use hair extensions. While your on a "hair vacation," think about if you really want to relax your hair or if you want to keep going with being natural. You will be able to make a better judgement call for yourself when you aren't stressed about styling your hair everyday.
  4. Find a natural hair stylist: I don't have the best opinion of hair stylists, but that is just me. You may want to stay natural, but don't really want to deal with your hair. Consider finding a reputable natural hair stylist to do your hair. This way, you won't have to deal with it (you may want to learn a few tips and tricks just in case your stylist isn't available, in the event of an emergency).
  5. Re-examine your natural hair regimen: What worked for you at a shorter length, may not work for you anymore. So consider switching out products and changing hair care techniques. At every length goal, I re-examine and reevaluate my regimen to determine what is working and what isn't. For example, I use to wash my hair in 8 two-strand twists. Washing with twists when I was armpit length helped me get to bra-strap length (BSL). But once I got to mid-back length, I noticed that my hair would become really tangled near the roots and caused breakage when I detangled. Hence, I stopped washing in two-strand twists, which minimized my breakage.
Hopefully these tips will help, but what if they don't? I would say just relax. If you're miserable and you feel like you've reached the end, just relax your hair. At the end of the day, you want to be happy. You can always come back to natural at a later point in time.

Got anymore tips to make natural hair more manageable. Let me know in the comments!

2 comments:

  1. I understand the consideration to relax. I have been thinking about for over a week now. I just miss not dealing with my hair for 2weeks at a time. Now i have to cowashing once a week or even twice and I have really nice curls- get compliments all the time. I was a rollerset girl in my relaxed days. Any who im going to protective style for awhile to get a break and some length retention.

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    Replies
    1. Definitely take a break and see how you feel afterwards. Natural hair takes a bit of practice and getting used to and sometimes it can be very overwhelming.

      Also, you mentioned rollersets. You can still do them. There's a few tutorials on youtube with rollersets, and I did one a couple of days ago. So you still have a lot of options if you want to stay natural.

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